We were created for relationships. We are broken and hurt through relationships and we are healed through relationships.
As a Life Coach I want to help you to get more out of your relationships. By assisting you in recognizing how you got to where you are today and using resources, I will guide and encourage you in achieving your goals to having healthier relationships.
Adoption: Adoption brings it own set of rules to parenting. Kids who are adopted have experienced the trauma of a break in attachment at an early age and therefore often need extra help in forming a secure attachment or bond. My goal in working with adoptive families is to provide teaching, resources and practical tools in helping families to parent while building connection with their children.
Attachment: What is attachment? Attachment is wrapped up in the main caregiver's response to, "Will you be there to meet my needs? (To know... I have worth and value, I will be protected, I have the right to make mistakes, My basic needs will be met.)" Attachment can be interrupted by early childhood trauma such as abuse (physical, emotional, verbal, neglect), adoption or extended hospitalization at an early age.
My own attachment was interrupted through the dis-function of my early childhood. I have been on my own journey toward a healthy attachment as well as daily walking my own children through broken attachment toward secure attachments. Our attachments whether healthy or unhealthy affect all our relationships and are passed down from our parents to us. It is a privilege to be able to walk others in bringing healing and secure attachment in their own relationships.
Co-dependency: What is co-dependency? It has been described as, "When I lose myself and take on the emotions, thoughts or wants of another as my own." In childhood, children often take on the wants, thoughts or needs of their parents in order to bring peace to the home or to get basic needs met. These are coping skills developed at an early age in order to cope with the unhealthy family system. These coping skills served a purpose for a time but as an adult can be harmful and keep emotional intimacy and vulnerability out of relationships.
Growing up in a co-dependent family I learned at an early age to go along and not say a word in order to "survive." I lost my voice and who I really was. What was entrenched as a resource for me when a child no longer served a purpose as an adult. However, I knew nothing else. So I came into relationships, in some ways, with the skills of a child. I needed to "find my voice" and who I really was in order to have deeper healthier relationships. It is my desire to help others work through the process of discovering their dysfunctional ways of relating and learning healthier ways to have relationships.